Sink That Ship
by World'sOnlyConsultingCriminal
Summary: All of those pairings you like but your friends think you're crazy for liking?... Want to see a certain pairing that you just can't find?... Look for it here, or tell me what you'd like. This is a collection of one-shots for those ships that just "need to be sunk" in my opinion. Who knows? Maybe I'll convince you to ship an entirely new and awkward pairing.
1. Sherlock&Mycroft

**_This is a new idea I had. _**

**_Come up with all these weird and uncommon pairings and just write fluffy one-shots about them._**

**_Just so you guys are aware... I do NOT ship this. It absolutely disgusts me..._**

**_However, it was a suggestion I recieved for the start of this collection. Thank you KHAN. c: You're awesome._**

* * *

Thirteen-year-old Sherlock Holmes sat impatiently waiting for his older brother's return. Mycroft had been off at his first year of university and Sherlock had trouble adjusting to not having him around.

Three months was too long to be away from him, and Sherlock had all but begged him to come for the long weekend break instead of going out with his friends as planned. Even when they were younger, Sherlock got easily jealous of Mycroft's friends. Even though they weren't anything more than friends, it was easy to become envious of someone that spent so much time with him.

Sherlock eyed the clock. It was half past six and Mycroft would be there any minute.

* * *

Nineteen-year-old Mycroft Holmes rode in silence in the backseat of the car he'd rented for the evening. He was glad to be going home. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he had missed his adorable, younger brother terribly.

He'd been almost ecstatic when Sherlock had begged him over the phone to come home, if only for a few days. He had pretended to not be too interested, but in reality he couldn't imagine spending another day without the younger boy. Mycroft gave in maybe a little too easily, but had planned a special night out for their reunion.

Glancing at his reflection in the window, Mycroft sighed. The greying hair and frown lines were extremely more noticeable than the last time he'd seen Sherlock. The stress of school was almost too much. He felt old, but hopefully Sherlock would still be able to see beyond all that.

* * *

The car pulled into the drive, and Sherlock was out of his room, down the stairs, and out the front door before anybody could even bother to say, "Mycroft is home!"

Sherlock ran into his brother's arms and smiled up at him, not long and he'd pass him up in height. Mycroft planted a quick kiss on his lips before grabbing Sherlock's hand and dragging him inside. Expecting a warm welcome from the remainder of the family, Mycroft boldly marched into the sitting room. "Mum, Dad." He said in a greeting.

Neither parent glanced up or made to welcome him. Mycroft sighed; they had all but disowned him as soon as they had found him in bed with his own little brother. He knew it would be hard on any family, but he had wrongly assumed that they would still care for him. But he was the eldest, and was put with the responsibility of the relationship.

Mycroft turned back to Sherlock, "The car is waiting."

"Where are we going?"

"Out to dinner, then maybe we could get a room?" He answered as they walked back out of the house.

Sherlock grinned and they slid into the backseat of the car together. As soon as the door was shut, their hands were all over each other. Mycroft pulled out of a desperate kiss long enough to gasp a barely audible, "I missed you."

Sherlock replied with an even more enthusiastic kiss of mostly tongue and teeth. Mycroft groaned and pulled his younger brother closer to him. As the car pulled out of the drive, the backseat was heating up exponentially.

_Maybe we should just skip dinner and go straight to get a hotel room,_ Mycroft thought. It had been too long, and he was desperate for the feeling of Sherlock's bare skin on his. He knew it was unbelievably wrong. They were brothers… They were related by blood, they shared the same parents, and it was so... so... so wrong. And it was best not to mention the age difference. Six years might not be that much, but at their age it was just wrong, not to mention illegal. Once again it was so… so… so wrong. Yet it just felt so right. Sherlock was the only person that could make him feel this way, and he couldn't even feel guilty about anything he was doing.

He told the driver to take them straight to the hotel. It had been a long time since he had skipped a meal for anyone. His stomach proved that point. But surely he could order some cake from the hotel's room service.

* * *

**_Don't expect any more of this pairing from me. This is about the extent of it that I can handle..._**

**_If there is a certain awkward or uncommon pairing you would like to see here, leave me a review. _**

**_All you need to do is tell me the pairing, and if you want, leave me an idea or prompt for the one-shot. (I may or may not use it.)_**

**_Let me know whether you sink or ship this in a review. I'm kind of curious, might even post the results. c:_**

**_Thanks for reading! Follow for more one-shots! _**


	2. Sherlock&Anderson

**_Sherlock/Mycroft. Ship or Sink? Decided by viewers. Definite sink. 80% of you sink it like the Titanic... Thank god._**

* * *

_**I am sorry. I am so sorry. This is absolutely terrible and the thought of this pairing makes me want to vomit... or die.**_

_**It was a random plot suggestion from my friend, so it's on her... But I still wrote it. I left pretty much everything to the imagination.**_

_**But the fact that I even WROTE something in this ship terrifies me to no end. So I really am sorry...**_

_**I'd say enjoy... But there isn't much to enjoy. You've been warned...**_

* * *

"Anderson, you really should learn to shut that abnormally large mouth of yours." I said, bending over the victim's dead body. Lestrade had called me out, asking for my help as usual. And Anderson was here lowering the street's IQ as usual.

However, this time I noticed that Anderson didn't reply with his usual scoff, eye roll, or failed attempt of a comeback. I dismissed it. Most likely it was due to some personal issue that made him unusually quiet. Maybe his wife had finally left him for good. Or maybe his pet fish died. By the looks of it, it was both. But I really couldn't care less, and there was definitely more pressing things at hand.

"John?"

"The cause of death was a major blow to the back of the head. Most likely with a hard, blunt object. Normally I would suggest a baseball bat… But this is a bit different. I'm thinking a shovel." John replied, standing up and pulling off his gloves.

"Very good. Lestrade, you can take notes if you like. This man is a burglar. I'm sure he thought this house was going to be empty for the majority of the evening and so he broke in. However, the owner pulled in early, most likely because he wasn't feeling well, and he saw the lights on when they shouldn't have been. He grabbed the first thing he saw to defend himself with, most likely having been a shovel. He hit the man with one hard blow and didn't mean to kill him, but fled because he was frightened and didn't know what else to do. I'm sure the shovel will be in a dumpster somewhere near here. I imagine it shouldn't be too hard to track down the owner of this home, and this is just a suggestion… but his charges shouldn't be too harsh. The actions he did were in self-defense and it's hard to control one's one adrenaline. Come along, John." I said, walking out of the house.

"That was fantastic!" I heard a voice say behind me.

"Thank you, but that one _was_ pretty obvious." I spun around expecting to see John, but instead, a grinning Anderson. I frowned, "What do you want?"

"Nothing just thought you'd like a coffee." He said, handing me a surprisingly still warm cup in spite of the long, rather chilly morning.

"Um. Right. Thank you." I took a sip and started down the street.

"Do you need a ride?" Anderson asked, following me.

"No. I'm fine. I can uh…" I stumbled slightly. "I can walk."

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Of course." I stumbled again and would have fallen if he wouldn't have caught me.

"I feel funny." I mumbled.

Anderson chuckled, "Just give it a couple of minutes."

"You drugged me?" I slurred.

"That was a wonderful deduction. Please tell me, what was your first clue?"

The ground spun a bit and I bit back the urge to vomit. "Why?"

"Because I wanted to know how you could come up with such a brilliant deduction." Anderson replied sarcastically.

"No, you idiot." I spat out. "Why did you drug me?"

"Oh, right. Well you see, Sherlock. My wife is… out of town and I decided to have a little fun while she was gone. And I decided to start with the great Sherlock Holmes."

I tried to say something back, but my mouth could no longer move.

"Come on, I'll give you a ride." He muttered, helping me to a waiting cab. The last thing I remember was sliding into the backseat of the cab.

* * *

I woke up from what I thought was a rather disgusting nightmare. I was in my own bed, although I had no idea of how I got there, or even how I returned to the flat. I groaned and tried to sit up. I was still fully clothed, apart from my shoes. Although my shirt buttons were one button off, and I knew in my right mind I would never manage something as sloppy as that in my favorite shirt.

Trying to slide out of the bed, I let out almost a squeal of pain. God, my arse hurt.

My phone buzzed beside and I picked it up frowning.

_I had fun. We should do that more often. –A_

I groaned, realizing that none of it had been a dream.

_Do you have any idea what you've done? –SH_

_ Well of course. I wasn't the one that was drugged. I fucked the amazing Sherlock Holmes. –A_

_ You're an idiot. –SH_

_ So you've said. However, you're the one that ended up drugged. –A_

_ You realize I'm going to turn you in. That was rape. –SH_

_ It's not rape if the receiving party enjoyed it. –A_

_ What? –SH_

_ The drugged Sherlock is a lot more… agreeable than the sober one. –A_

_ Bull shit. –SH_

The next message was a multimedia message and I opened it wearily. I lasted not even a full ten seconds of the rather obscene video before I closed out of it. I tried to breathe normally after the footage I'd just seen.

_Fine. No one, I repeat, no one, is to learn about this. –SH_

_ I'll agree to that, for now. –A_

I flopped back down on the bed and tried to shake everything off. My phone buzzed one more time.

_ Dinner? –A_

What the hell was he trying to do? I waited a few minutes before replying. What was the worst that could happen? I'd already gotten drugged and raped.

_Fine. –SH_

* * *

**_What... Like even... What. _**

**_Once again, I am so very sorry..._**

**_If there's an awful pairing you'd like to see... Let me know._**

**_This one just proved that I'll do anything. _**

**_Once again. Let me know if you sink it or ship it... But I might barf if anybody ships it... D=_**

**_Watch out for the next one-shot. c:_**


	3. John&Molly

**_Sherlock/Anderson. Ship or Sink? Decided by viewers. Definite sink. 88% of you crashed it like the Hindenburg. Thank god. But to think there was that ONE person who went for it... ummmmm. No._**

* * *

**_I felt bad about the last one, so this one is a bit more bearable._**

**_I don't really ship it, but it doesn't make me want to throw up either._**

**_I can't remember if someone suggested it or not... But it was just a random idea. c: Enjoy._**

* * *

I trudged through the puddles outside of Bart's grimly. Earlier I had returned to the flat to find my favorite jumper destroyed and just tossed aside. Despite his promise to quit experimenting on my things, he had the nerve to spill some sort of acid goo stuff and use my jumper as some sort of cleanup rag. This time he was so dead.

It was getting late, yet I knew he'd still be at the lab working. That's all he ever did was work. Work, experiment, destroy my belongings, and ruin every chance I had with any sort of date, I thought as I made my way through the halls. Just the other week he'd had the nerve to call me about an "emergency" while I was at the cinema with a pretty blonde I'd met at the clinic. He convinced me to run all the way home to find him in the shower, complaining about there being no clean towels within his reach.

_"Well how did you get your cell phone to call me in the first place?" I'd asked angrily._

_ "I was working, so I already had it."_

_ "You are in the bloody shower!"_

_ "That doesn't mean I can't work in here! Think about it, that's ten to fifteen minutes of my day I'm wasting on personal hygiene. I can get ten more minutes of work in by taking my phone and doing some research." Sherlock explained._

_ "You're impossible." I growled as I headed for the bathroom door._

_ "Clearly I am not impossible, I'm here. Aren't I? Hey! Where are you going? Get me a towel!"_

_ "If you're so damn smart, figure out a way to get one yourself." I slumped down in my chair; I knew there was no point in trying to make up with Amber. It's a bit not good when you run off to your flat mates rescue in the middle of a date._

_ Not even five minutes later, Sherlock walked out of the bathroom with the bathroom rug wrapped around his waist. I chose not to say anything as he trudged to his room. Despite what he said, he really was impossible._

And now I found myself thinking the exact same thing. The man was so impossible he shouldn't exist. I didn't bother knocking on the door to the lab as usual. I stormed through the door. "Sherlock, I thought we had an agreement, no more destroying my…" I started, but stopped when I walked straight into Molly.

"Oh, sorry Molly." I glanced at her. "Didn't see you there…" She was dressed up for the evening and it was the first time I'd ever noticed that she was absolutely beautiful.

"It's alright."

"You look… Brilliant. Wow." I stuttered out.

She blushed and looked away.

Sherlock cleared his throat, "John, don't attempt to flirt. It really isn't your area and it's actually quite embarrassing."

"You're obviously dressed up for something other than work." I observed, ignoring Sherlock.

"Yeah, well… Sherlock apparently needed me here, despite the fact that I had a date tonight." Molly replied.

"Is that what you do for living, Sherlock? Ruin other people's dates?" I asked him, and then turned back to Molly. "He does it to me as well, so don't feel too bad."

"Don't be an idiot John, I'm a consulting detective. Only one in the world, remember? Ruining people's dates isn't a job anyway. Don't be idiotic."

I sighed. "Sarcasm, Sherlock. That was sarcasm."

He just grunted and looked back down at his notes.

"You might as well go, Molly. Enjoy your date."

"Too late. But it's alright; it probably would have been terrible anyways. My mum is constantly trying to set me up with her friends' sons. Most of them still live at home."

"Besides," Sherlock cut in. "I need her here."

"You really don't, Sherlock. Come on, Molly. Let's go get a drink."

Molly shed her lab coat. "Alright, Sherlock you should probably give up for the night anyways. You've been here for hours."

"No. Molly, you can't go."

"I can and I will. I'll see you later, Sherlock."

"Bye, Sherlock." I said as we headed out the door. "Oh! And you owe me a new jumper."

Two hours later, Molly and I were down the street at my favorite pub. We'd both had a few drinks, and I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to her. We had plenty of Sherlock stories to swap.

"He actually called you while he was in the shower?" Molly giggled.

"Yeah. It was an emergency! I thought maybe he'd had an experiment go wrong. But he just needed me to grab him a clean towel."

"He's impossible. The other day he made me bring him like eleven different pens because none of them "wrote quite right." But believe me, they were all the same."

I chuckled, "Sounds like Sherlock alright."

Molly glanced at her phone, "I should probably get going."

"I'll walk you home." I said, pulling out my wallet to pay the check.

She smiled. "Alright."

We walked out together and I started down the sidewalk.

"John? I'm actually the other way."

"Yes, of course." I turned around, embarrassed.

"Too much to drink?" Molly laughed and nudged me. I almost fell over.

"Hey!" I protested, grabbing her hand. "You had plenty too. I'd like to see you walk a straight line."

"Challenge accepted." She concentrated on a line on the sidewalk and managed a few steps before falling against me.

We were still laughing when we got to her flat. I walked her to the door and she looked up at me, "This was fun."

"It was." I agreed, trying to decide if I should kiss her or not.

She made the decision for me when she leaned in and pressed her lips gently against mine. My arms wrapped around her as I kissed her back, and I just wished that moment could last forever. Finally, a date Sherlock couldn't ruin, one that he actually indirectly put together.

Molly pulled away and smiled. "Would you like to come in?"

I grinned. "I'd love to."

* * *

_**And there you go. I sink it.. But what do you guys think?**_

_**Let me know in a review, it's interesting to see how many people will ship stuff like this.**_

_**If you've got another pairing you'd like to see, just let me know. I'll try to come up with a somewhat interesting one-shot..**_

_**Thanks for reading. c: Love you guys, you're awesomee.**_


	4. Sherlock&Lestrade

**_John/Molly. Ship or Sink? Decided by viewers. Sink.. But this one was closer. 67% I guess that was one that wasn't absolutely disgusting so I shouldn't say anything. But sometimes I wonder about you guys. xD Haha, but look at me... I'm writing it._**

* * *

**_Ehhh. This one is just... ehh... Read and let me know what you think. c:_**

**_I didn't edit this, so if you find any major grammar or spelling mistakes... Please let me know. I'd appreciate it._**

* * *

"Lestrade, is it just me or are you getting more and more stupid by the day." I glanced up from his desk. "You've called me in five times within the past week and none of them have been remotely difficult, let alone interesting. I'm going to start ignoring your texts and calls soon if this is all you can give me."

He shifted on his legs uncomfortably. Something was definitely up and he wouldn't tell me. I got up swiftly and got in his face. If there was a bigger picture, I needed to see it.

"Tell me what's really going on _now_." I watched his face carefully. Pupils were dilated; a small bit of sweat broke out on his forehead. Why on earth was he so nervous?

"I... umm... It's j-just… well you see…"

I waited impatiently. "What?"

Lestrade looked at me seriously for a moment, and I could see he was looking for the perfect response, and having trouble coming up with it. But that's when he did the most unexpected thing I hadn't even considered to be an option.

He kissed me. And even more surprising… I kissed him back. It had been a long time since I'd kissed anyone, and I found myself enjoying it rather thoroughly.

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway and Lestrade jumped back, clearly embarrassed. "Ah! Hello, John. We... we... were j-just…" He stammered.

"Um, yeah. I noticed." John walked over and set a file on Lestrade's desk. "Donovan wanted me to give that to you. But I'll leave you two to it then." He smirked and walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Lestrade turned an even darker shade of red. I just smiled, everybody would know in the next hour or so.

I should have noticed before now that Lestrade had had a thing for me. He'd gradually started calling me in more. Even for the simple and boring things like robberies and vandalism.

"How long?" I asked quietly.

Lestrade looked confused for a minute. "How long what?"

I rolled my eyes. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Oh, right…" He thought for a moment. "A couple of months, I suppose."

I just nodded, the timeline made sense. I sat down on the edge of his desk, wondering what he was going to try next. He appeared more nervous than ever before.

"How long have you known?"

"A few minutes." I replied shortly.

He grinned, "I fooled you for a while then. The great Sherlock Holmes got fooled by me." He crossed the small office in a couple of steps.

"Don't sound so smug." I muttered.

"You're always smug." He put his hands on the desk on either side of me.

"And?" But I didn't give him time to come up with an answer when I pressed my lips against his own fiercely. I slipped his jacket off and it slid slowly to the floor.

Loosening his tie, I broke the kiss long enough to ask, "Ever had sex on this desk?"

"No." He whispered.

"Let's change that." I winked.

* * *

I finished pulling on my clothes and glanced over at Lestrade. He still looked stunned by the events that had just taken place. "You might want to get dressed." I grinned.

He just nodded, but he stayed exactly where he was.

"Problem?" I asked, tying my scarf.

He shook his head quickly and stood up, pulling on his pants and trousers.

"You might want to clean the desk yourself," I suggested, chuckling.

Lestrade smiled a bit.

I opened the door, "I must be off. I'll… I'll talk to you later, Greg." I walked out swiftly and shut the door behind me. It had been the first time I'd used Lestrade's first name. I didn't even know if he was aware that I had remembered his first name.

As I walked through the building, everyone turned to look at me. Donovan smiled, but Anderson glared. John caught up with me as I got to the door. "Don't say anything." I muttered.

"I wasn't going to." He said quietly.

I started down the sidewalk without a word.

"How was he?" John chuckled.

"I thought I told you not to say anything…" I sighed.

"Do I ever listen?"

"No, of course not. But you should learn to."

John looked at me expectantly. "So…?"

I rolled my eyes. "He was brilliant. Happy?" I hailed a cab and got in slowly, glowering when he got in next to me.

"221B Baker Street." I told the cabbie and then stared out the window, doing my best to ignore John.

"So what now?"

"That's none of your business." I retorted.

John waited patiently.

"I don't know."

"Do you like him?"

"I don't know."

"Well that's the most I've ever heard you say that." John grinned.

"Oh, shut up." My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket.

_Dinner? Tonight? Around seven? –GL_

_ I look forward to it. -SH_

* * *

**_Well.. Alrighty then. I definitely don't ship it._**

**_This one was suggested by a few different people... So I hope it satisfied you._**

**_Feel free to leave any other pairing or plot suggestions in a review or private message.._**

**_However, this was really hard for me to write, and I realized I'm not writing for my own enjoyment anymore._**

**_Unfortunately, that means that it might be a while before I write anymore. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. D=_**

**_Anyways, let me know if you sink it or ship it... And I've recently created a tumblr, so if you'd like to follow me, leave me a message. C:_**


	5. Author's Note

**_Hey guys. I realize I haven't posted on this or any other sort of fanfic in a while._**

**_I want you to know, that I'm not currently considering doing any more of the "Sink That Ship" one-shots._**

**_I've actually gotten quite a bit of hate for these (not that would ever really stop me), but I've come to the realization that those people are actually quite right.. Even if they did put it rather rudely._**

**_I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I just got to the point where plots were hard to come up with and I just really wasn't that interested (let alone invested) in writing these._**

**_Please feel free to check out any of my other stuff if you're feeling deprived._**

**_I'm sorry. _**


End file.
